Worth
We are just three days from Christmas, and the days are beginning to get longer in the Northern Hemisphere. It's not noticeable yet, but the darkness is beginning to recede in the face of the light. Yet even in the darkness, the dimmest light serves to light the path in front of us. The smallest light can bring relief in overwhelming darkness.
So much of this Advent reflection has revolved around light. The weeks of Advent are symbolized by and increasing number of candles, meaning that each week gets a little bit brighter than the last as we move toward Christmas. We have navigated through Hope, Peace, and Joy to arrive at Love.
Over the past several services at church, a repeating theme has been Worth. Many of us struggle with finding our value, our worth. We will belittle ourselves and sell ourselves short. Imposter Syndrome and comparison make it easy to feel that we don't have the skills, or anything new to contribute.
When we consider love, it is often in terms of others. Are we showing them love, are they showing us love and acceptance. In some ways, it's taboo to consider whether or not we show ourselves love and acceptance. But it's something we must consider. We know our own weaknesses and failings, the wounds and scars we carry.
The reality of who we are can be dark. The ugliness and brokenness can be overwhelming. But as we walk from Hope to Love, we can take that step to love ourselves, showing the unconditional love we all seek. We can take the first step in believing that we are worthy of love. Not just the love of other people, but the love and compassion we can offer ourselves.
Penelope discovered this in the 2006 movie "Penelope". Under a curse, she was so focused on finding someone to love her for who she was, it wasn't until the prince she sought turned out to be an illusion that she discovered that she didn't need a prince to love her and break the curse, she needed to love herself.
We find ourselves in the same dilemma. We look outside ourselves to find love and discover our worth. Yet so often the answer begins with the one closest to us: ourselves. We must find a way to accept that we are worthy of love, we are worthy of compassion, we are worthy of joy, we are worthy of good things.
“You thought I was worth saving”
As a Christian, I also need to look to God to find my worth. He valued us enough to come to earth and experience our pain, joys, and sorrows, and to ultimately be a covering for our sins, and healing for our hurts. Yet so often I fail to look to Him and just see myself falling short.
As we make the transition to Christmastide, my goal is to begin to see myself not through my flawed vision, but through the lens of the God who loved me enough to be my Savior.
